im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize