Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
