I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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