Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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