Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
