I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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