just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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