i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize