sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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