I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
