Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
