You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
