they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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