I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
