U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize