Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
