at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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