You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
