I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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