Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
