I seem to have left my pride at pride
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
