Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
