is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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