If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
