Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
