some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
