More tranny stories later!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
