I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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