U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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