I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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