We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
