I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
