Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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