I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize