That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
