he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize