She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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