The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
