Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And then he peed in my hair
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