Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
How's work?
Spinning.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
