you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
