i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Shitshow foam night was such a success
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
