My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
