Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
