You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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