i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
please come you make the beer taste better
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
