Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I love having hate sex.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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