How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
