I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
