Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
