alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
