her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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