I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
...so i touched it.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
