I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
