can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
