I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
