Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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