i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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