All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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