and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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