mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
be right there i have to get my cape
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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