Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
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