Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
