I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
