he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
