there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
