He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We are two peas in an std pod
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
